things we didn’t need to know about your boyfriend’s shorts


“The truth of this assertion was borne out to me when my boyfriend and I went shopping to supplement his wardrobe of two pair of Dickies with something lighter. He tried on some inexpensive cargo shorts: a frat boy stood before me. Slim seersucker knee-lengths transformed him into the veriest urban fop. Hemmed denim, meanwhile, made him feel like a middle-schooler, and one who sported Tevas at that.”

via you-know-where

things i didn’t need to know about your period


“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty sure I’m always myself, regardless of what my vagina may be up to. I may be an extremely moody or uncomfortable version of myself, but I’m still myself.”

via jezebel

things i don’t need to know about your skin care regimen


or your eating disorder (again)

“I use a drugstore anti-aging cream that costs about 20 bucks and makes my skin feel really nice. It also doesn’t burn my sensitive skin, which is a plus. I started using it at 25, in a panic, after I read that women should begin an anti-aging routine at that age to stave off the aging process as long as possible. I already have crow’s feet and laugh lines, due to, you know, laughing a lot, and having an eating disorder for seven years didn’t help things either. But after a while I realized that my skin was not improving because of the anti-aging cream as much as it was improving because I was maintaining a healthy weight and eating well. The internal changes I was making, versus the external, were what was showing on my face. I still have laugh lines and crow’s feet, but I like them, and I don’t use the cream to “fight off” the aging process anymore as much as I use it because, like Locke mentioned above, it’s a nice moisturizer and I trust it on my skin.

I also got a reality check the last time I went to purchase a tube: while looking around the aisles, the Walgreens cosmetic counter woman called out, “Oh no, honey, teen skin creams are on the other side of the aisle.” My first thought was, “Oh, snap!” My second thought was, “Oh, shit, she thinks I need Stridex pads. Do I have a zit? Where is it? Oh shit.” You can never, ever win.”

via jezebel